5.45am.....almost time to get up for another working week to begin...ugh. I hate feeling like this....groggy after too much wine. But it’s a common feeling. An every morning feeling actually. And I hate it. I hate that I love drinking wine in the evening. Every evening. I drink too much. A bottle of wine (at least) every night. I’ve tried to cut down, only drink at weekends but not succeeded. I’ve done the whole dry January thing so I know I can stop drinking. I remember feeling fantastic and sleeping so much better and having so much more energy too. I want that feeling back and I want that feeling forever. So I’ve decided there’s only one solution and that’s to stop drinking altogether. So this is Day 1! I actually feel good at having made the decision to this. I feel like I've
achieved something already by deciding to decide to do it (if that even makes sense!)
About me.....I’m a Mum of two boys aged 3 and 11 and wife to my fabulous husband. I’m just an ordinary working mum dealing with the everyday stresses and strains of juggling everyday life and the many challenges it throws our way. Up until today I’ve been using wine to cope. Wine-o’clock is sometime around 6pm (earlier at the weekends!). I honestly can’t wait to get home and pour that first glass. But it’s never just one glass....that’s the problem. And it’s a vicious circle. I’ll feel so rubbish the next day that I need wine to feel better again....and so it goes on. Until now. I don’t want my boys to grow up thinking it’s okay to drink everyday and to end up down the same route as me. I’m cocerned for my health. I’m over weight. I hate how I look and feel. So it’s time to make the change.
I've been doing a little bit of reading about alcoholism. I've never even considered myself an alcoholic but I recently saw a post on Facebook about a book called The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley which is based on her own blog (SoberMummy) about her own journey to becoming sober. I downloaded it to my Kindle and started to read.......and very quickly realised I could have been reading about myself. She uses the term "High Functioning Alcoholic".....so that is what I am. There, I've said it. The more I read of Clare's story, the more I became inspired to follow in her footsteps......so thank you Clare.....I hope my story will inspire someone as much as yours has inspired me.
And so my journey begins.....I hope you enjoy reading my ramblings.
Thank you for writing WLM. I am on Day 2 of my journey. I am a 54 year old wife to a wonderful husband and mom of two boys, age 29 and 27. For the past 17 years I drank wine like you, too much and on a nightly basis. I drank for the stress relief at the start — raising children, beginning work as a lawyer—but then it became a habit. I have trained my brain to expect its “treat” each night. So sick of it. Tried to moderate for the past year with no real result. This weekend I went to our card party and got totally wasted—happened without any conscious thought! In fact I had vowed to only have 2 glasses! No one else at the party over drank. Yesterday I felt like rubbish and my husband is frustrated with my antics at the party. Great way to start the week. Anyway, I am ready, scared and excited to start this journey. Have you listened to The Take a Break podcast with Rachel Hart? She uses a cognitive behavioral approach to sobriety. It has been helpful to me.
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